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From: Daryl Stout (1:19/33)
To: All
Date: Sat, 25.07.20 02:05
Think You're Stupid??
If you ever feel a little bit stupid, just dig this up and read it
again; you'll begin to think you're a genius..

,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

(On September 17, 1994, Alabama's Heather Whitestone was selected
as Miss America 1995.Wink

Question: If you could live forever, would you and why?

Answer: "I would not live forever, because we should not live forever,
because if we were supposed to live forever, then we would live forever,
but we cannot live forever, which is why I would not live forever,"

--Miss Alabama in the 1994 Miss USA contest.

,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

"Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world,
I can't help but cry. I mean I'd love to be skinny like that, but not
with all those flies and death and stuff."

--Mariah Carey

,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

"Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of
your life,"

-- Brooke Shields, during an interview to become spokesperson for federal
anti-smoking campaign

,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

"I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body,"

--Winston Bennett, University of Kentucky basketball forward.

,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

"Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates
in the country,"

--Mayor Marion Barry, Washington, DC.
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,


"That lowdown scoundrel deserves to be kicked to death by a jackass,
and I'm just the one to do it,"

--A congressional candidate in Texas.

,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,


"Half this game is ninety percent mental."

--Philadelphia Phillies manager, Danny Ozark

,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

"It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities
in our air and water that are doing it.."

--Al Gore, Vice President

,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

"I love California. I practically grew up in Phoenix ."

-- Dan Quayle

,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

"We've got to pause and ask ourselves: How much clean air do we need?"

--Lee Iacocca

,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

"The word "genius" isn't applicable in football. A genius is a guy
like Norman Einstein."

--Joe Theisman, NFL football quarterback & sports analyst.

,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

"We don't necessarily discriminate. We simply exclude certain types
of people."

-- Colonel Gerald Wellman, ROTC Instructor.

,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

"Your food stamps will be stopped effective March 1992, because we
received notice that you passed away. May God bless you. You may
reapply if there is a change in your circumstances."

--Department of Social Services, Greenville, South Carolina

,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

"Traditionally, most of Australia 's imports come from overseas."

--Keppel Enderbery

,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

"If somebody has a bad heart, they can plug this jack in at night
as they go to bed, and it will monitor their heart throughout the
night. And the next morning, when they wake up dead, there'll be a
record."

-- Mark S. Fowler, FCC Chairman

,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
--- SBBSecho 3.11-Win32
* Origin: The Thunderbolt BBS - tbolt.synchro.net (1:19/33)

From: Ward Dossche (2:292/854)
To: All
Date: Fri, 25.06.21 22:45
Re: Think You're Stupid??
DS> "It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities
DS> in our air and water that are doing it.."

DS> --Al Gore, Vice President

Sorry ... that was Dan Quayle ... GOP.

\%/@rd
--- DB4 - Jun 14 2021
* Origin: Hou het veilig, hou vol. Het komt allemaal weer goed (2:292/854)

From: George Pope (1:153/757.2)
To: All
Date: Sun, 27.06.21 16:26
Re: Think You're Stupid??
> (On September 17, 1994, Alabama's Heather Whitestone was selected
> as Miss America 1995.Wink

> Question: If you could live forever, would you and why?

> Answer: "I would not live forever, because we should not live forever,
> because if we were supposed to live forever, then we would live forever,
> but we cannot live forever, which is why I would not live forever,"

> --Miss Alabama in the 1994 Miss USA contest.

I've seen many other quotes fromn this contst just as eep!

> ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

> "Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world,
> I can't help but cry. I mean I'd love to be skinny like that, but not
> with all those flies and death and stuff."

> --Mariah Carey

He's only voicing all Hollywood's vapidity out loud. ..

> ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

> "Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of
> your life,"

> -- Brooke Shields, during an interview to become spokesperson for federal
> anti-smoking campaign

I saw her swimming nude, in the premier of Blue Lagoon, in Graumann's Chinese
Theatre on Hollywood Boulevard in 1980, at all of 13 years old!

Beautiful girl but oh, so dumb. . .

(another blanket description of Hollywood!Wink

> ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

> "Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates
> in the country,"

> --Mayor Marion Barry, Washington, DC.

The original Crackhead Mayor! (We had our own a couple years ago - his term
ran out & he refused to leave office!Wink

> ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,


> "That lowdown scoundrel deserves to be kicked to death by a jackass,
> and I'm just the one to do it,"

> --A congressional candidate in Texas.

> ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

> "It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities
> in our air and water that are doing it.."

> --Al Gore, Vice President

& he's theleader of the save the Earth movements, eh? Bah! Mr. "The ocean is
rising; all coastal arteas will be flooded" & his multimillion dollar
beachfront mansion producing 100X the greenhouse emissions than his
neighbours.

> ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

> "I love California. I practically grew up in Phoenix ."

> -- Dan Quayle

hmm. . . I'm not even American & I see the error in this . . .

> ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

> "We've got to pause and ask ourselves: How much clean air do we need?"

> --Lee Iacocca

All of it, please!

> ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

> "We don't necessarily discriminate. We simply exclude certain types
> of people."

> -- Colonel Gerald Wellman, ROTC Instructor.

I wonder if that worked. . .

Some people exclude themselves, like when the basketball signup chart is 6
feet up the wall!

> ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

> "Your food stamps will be stopped effective March 1992, because we
> received notice that you passed away. May God bless you. You may
> reapply if there is a change in your circumstances."

> --Department of Social Services, Greenville, South Carolina

I see a problem here.

> ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

> "Traditionally, most of Australia's imports come from overseas."

> --Keppel Enderbery

Seriously?!

> ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

> "If somebody has a bad heart, they can plug this jack in at night
> as they go to bed, and it will monitor their heart throughout the
> night. And the next morning, when they wake up dead, there'll be a
> record."

> -- Mark S. Fowler, FCC Chairman

I don't see the point, TBH. . .


I took what he said with a grain of salt.

My friend and I were playing golf. He hit the flagpole on the shot and said



A man who makes tie dye shirts was trying to borrow money to expand his small
business. While filling out the paperwork, he had a heart attack and
collapsed, spilling bottles of colored dye all over his documents.
The poor man dyed a loan.

Your friend,

<+]:{)}
Cyberpope, Bishop of ROM
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* Origin: The Rusty MailBox - Penticton, BC Canada (1:153/757.2)

From: Daryl Stout (1:19/33)
To: All
Date: Sun, 27.06.21 19:31
Re: Think You're Stupid??
George,

GP> I saw her swimming nude, in the premier of Blue Lagoon, in Graumann's
GP> Chinese Theatre on Hollywood Boulevard in 1980, at all of 13 years old!

From what I understand, she did little more than kiss...as more intimate
scenes were shot with a double.

GP> & he's theleader of the save the Earth movements, eh? Bah! Mr. "The
GP> ocean is rising; all coastal arteas will be flooded" & his multimillion
GP> dollar beachfront mansion producing 100X the greenhouse emissions than
GP> his neighbours.

These are the ones so note "The Flat Earth Society has members all
around the globe". Razz

GP> hmm. . . I'm not even American & I see the error in this . . .

Or "The preacher and his wife said that on their vacation, they saw
places that no longer exist". <G>

> "We've got to pause and ask ourselves: How much clean air do we need?"

> --Lee Iacocca

GP> All of it, please!

Especially if everyone is farting in an enclosed space.

> "Your food stamps will be stopped effective March 1992, because we
> received notice that you passed away. May God bless you. You may
> reapply if there is a change in your circumstances."

> --Department of Social Services, Greenville, South Carolina

GP> I see a problem here.

What was your first clue??

> ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

> "Traditionally, most of Australia's imports come from overseas."

> --Keppel Enderbery

GP> Seriously?!

Or "The preacher said the only overseas country he has visited
was Canada".

> ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,


GP> intake. I took what he said with a grain of salt.

I guess he thought you'd be sluggish otherwise.

GP> My friend and I were playing golf. He hit the flagpole on the shot and



College Swim Team Bumper Sticker: Breast Strokers Have More Fun.

GP> A man who makes tie dye shirts was trying to borrow money to expand his
GP> small business. While filling out the paperwork, he had a heart attack
GP> and collapsed, spilling bottles of colored dye all over his documents.
GP> The poor man dyed a loan.

Or like the guy at the newspaper, who edited and prepared the death
notices. He had his son there to help him one day, and he became known
as a "son of obituary editor". <G>

Daryl

... My dolphin puns are terrible on porpoise.
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From: George Pope (1:153/757.2)
To: All
Date: Tue, 29.06.21 10:49
Re: Think You're Stupid??
> George,

> GP> I saw her swimming nude, in the premier of Blue Lagoon, in Graumann's
> GP> Chinese Theatre on Hollywood Boulevard in 1980, at all of 13 years
old!

> From what I understand, she did little more than kiss...as more intimate
> scenes were shot with a double.

There really wasn't much morethan innocent kissing scenes. . .
in my recollection.

> Or "The preacher and his wife said that on their vacation, they saw
> places that no longer exist". <G>

Good trick!

> > "We've got to pause and ask ourselves: How much clean air do we need?"

> > --Lee Iacocca

> GP> All of it, please!

> Especially if everyone is farting in an enclosed space.

The Earth IS an enclosed space!

> Or like the guy at the newspaper, who edited and prepared the death
> notices. He had his son there to help him one day, and he became known
> as a "son of obituary editor". <G>

I use the term "bunnuvasitch" to confuse people, & identify any prigs in the
vicinity.

My dad used to always say "DAMN" when my sister and I were little (he still
does).
We used to always say "Daddy stop saying that! It's a bad word."
He would always reply "It's not a bad word, that's what beavers build!"
Now I say damn all the time.

Q: What do you call an Australian curse?
A: Digerie hoodoo.

I married my wife for her looks
Just not the ones she been giving me lately.

*Black gets hit by the Killing Curse*

Harry: Are you serious?


A man, cursed by a wicked genie, goes to the local prophet for help.
The prophet hands him a six sided piece of paper. Confused, the man asks how
it's supposed to help him. "Simple," the prophet says, "it's a hex a gon."

All the Harry Potter movies should have been rated R.
Too much cursing.

Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy were fighting once when Draco decided to curse
Harry with a Hair Growing Spell that grows hair instantly. Ron passed by and
said:
Hello Hairy.

Q: What do you call a cursed dumbbell?
A: Hexercise equipment

Q: What do programmers say wehen they find a bug?
A: Oh shift!

A man was cursed to have lines everywhere
He went to the border of his city but there was a border line, he went to the
coast but there was a coast line, he once asked a girl on a date but there


so being a good date he goes to get a her some punch

But there was no punch line.

Your friend,

<+]:{)}
Cyberpope, Bishop of ROM
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* Origin: The Rusty MailBox - Penticton, BC Canada (1:153/757.2)

From: Daryl Stout (1:19/33)
To: All
Date: Tue, 29.06.21 19:40
Re: Think You're Stupid??
George,

GP> There really wasn't much morethan innocent kissing scenes. . .
GP> in my recollection.

There were some nude shots in there, but it may have been of the "younger
kids".

> Or "The preacher and his wife said that on their vacation, they saw
> places that no longer exist". <G>

GP> Good trick!

You can't find that stuff on a map, either. <G>

> Especially if everyone is farting in an enclosed space.

GP> The Earth IS an enclosed space!

Members of The Flat Earth Society have chapters all over the globe. <G>

> Or like the guy at the newspaper, who edited and prepared the death
> notices. He had his son there to help him one day, and he became known
> as a "son of obituary editor". <G>

GP> I use the term "bunnuvasitch" to confuse people, & identify any prigs
GP> in the vicinity.

I've used that one myself.

GP> My dad used to always say "DAMN" when my sister and I were little (he
GP> still does).
GP> We used to always say "Daddy stop saying that! It's a bad word."
GP> He would always reply "It's not a bad word, that's what beavers build!"
GP> Now I say damn all the time.

And, there are 2 identical passages in the Old Testament, where The Lord
said He would destroy this group of people...not only for their sin, but
apparently they were very banal. As the King James Version notes "Even them
that pisseth against a wall". The daughter of the pastor who married my late
wife and I lameneted that "she got in trouble for saying 'pisseth'" -- she
thought if it was in the Bible, she'd be OK.

GP> I married my wife for her looks
GP> Just not the ones she been giving me lately.

The old stink eye.

GP> *Black gets hit by the Killing Curse*

GP> Harry: Are you serious?


Just don't call him Shirley.

GP> A man, cursed by a wicked genie, goes to the local prophet for help.
GP> The prophet hands him a six sided piece of paper. Confused, the man
GP> asks how it's supposed to help him. "Simple," the prophet says, "it's a
GP> hex a gon."

There is a deal with square dancing, called hexagonal squares. Instead of
having 4 couples (one in each compass point, as it were), the "sides" have
the regular 2 couples, but the "heads" (facing the front or back of the hall)
have 4 couples. You can really do some interesting stuff with that, but you
have to really know your moves and definitions.

GP> All the Harry Potter movies should have been rated R.
GP> Too much cursing.

Remember the big stink over 80 years ago, with Clark Gable and the Motion
Picture Association Of America with "Gone With The Wind"?? There was a huge
fight, as the censors would not let him say the reply "Frankly, my dear...
I don't give a damn". They finally relented...but that is so commonplace
nowadays.

And going back to humor with Groucho Marx, Jack Benny, George Burns,
Red Skelton, etc. -- they all proved "you don't have to be dirty to be
funny". Two ventriloquists today...Todd Oliver and Darci Lynn Farmer...
have purely G-rated shows...and they sell out quick. I've seen Todd in
person, but not Darci (I've seen her stuff on YouTube).

I understand that after Darci won America's Got Talent, she invited
runner-up Angelica Hale (2 1/2 years younger than Darci) and her family
to join them in Las Vegas for the shows. To me, that spoke volumes, and
was very noble of her...and I understand that the girls, and their parents,
are all great friends. Both Darci and Angelica can sing...wow!! No wonder
they both got "the golden buzzer" on America's Got Talent".

GP> Q: What do you call a cursed dumbbell?
GP> A: Hexercise equipment

Was Dewey cursed when he tried to work with computers, because he went
hexadecimal??

GP> Q: What do programmers say wehen they find a bug?
GP> A: Oh shift!

There was one of those on a sign for an area McDonald's:

"Now Hiring Smiling Faces For Afternoon Shifts"

But the sign LEFT OUT the F in the last word...I'll let you figure
it out. <G>

GP> But there was no punch line.

There used to be a ham radio operator who always said "I'll Drink To
That!!" (he passed away a few years ago). They started an early morning
"net" called "The I'll Drink To That Net". What was funny, is that while
ham radio is a male dominated hobby, the women "clean the men's clocks"
when it comes to making contacts. But on this "net", you'd have a bunch
of males on there (known as OM's or "old men")...yet, when a female (a
YL (young lady or girlfriend) or XYL (ex-young lady (wife)Wink, showed up,
it was like you flipped a light switch!! The tone of the entire net
changed, and each of the OM's had to greet the lady, and give their
callsign. Smile

There is a ham radio club in Knoxville, Tennessee, with the callsign
W4BBB. This one year for Field Day Weekend (the last full weekend of
June...it just happened a few days ago), this female (not sure if she
was single or married (or as noted above, a YL or an XYL)...but, she
had a sexy sultry voice, like a professional hooker. <G> She said the
callsign stood for "Women For Big, Blonde, and Beautiful". Basically,
it was "Game Over" on making contacts. <BG> The men were tripping over
their tongues (and probably a few other things <G>) to "work" this
station (the term hams use when they make a contact with another ham
radio station...but this "work" is "fun").

Daryl, WX4QZ

... H.A.M. Radio Operator: H)ave A)nother M)eal.
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From: George Pope (1:153/757.2)
To: All
Date: Mon, 05.07.21 17:45
Re: Think You're Stupid??
> GP> I use the term "bunnuvasitch" to confuse people, & identify any prigs
> GP> in the vicinity.

> I've used that one myself.

Always good to know who you hang out with who get uptight over such
innocence. . .


> And, there are 2 identical passages in the Old Testament, where The Lord
> said He would destroy this group of people...not only for their sin, but
> apparently they were very banal. As the King James Version notes "Even
them
> that pisseth against a wall". The daughter of the pastor who married my
late
> wife and I lameneted that "she got in trouble for saying 'pisseth'" -- she
> thought if it was in the Bible, she'd be OK.

& why not? I'm okay with any words in the dictionary if used grammatically
correctly & not being used to hurt others.

> Remember the big stink over 80 years ago, with Clark Gable and the
Motion
> Picture Association Of America with "Gone With The Wind"?? There was a
huge
> fight, as the censors would not let him say the reply "Frankly, my dear...
> I don't give a damn". They finally relented...but that is so commonplace
> nowadays.

They had no business condemning & censoring anyway!

There's the story Mark Twain told of how he avoids using "very" too much --
he substitutes "damn" for every use of "very" & the editor just deletes it. .
.& perfect final text!

> And going back to humor with Groucho Marx, Jack Benny, George Burns,
> Red Skelton, etc. -- they all proved "you don't have to be dirty to be
> funny". Two ventriloquists today...Todd Oliver and Darci Lynn Farmer...
> have purely G-rated shows...and they sell out quick. I've seen Todd in
> person, but not Darci (I've seen her stuff on YouTube).

I've seen Darci before, but now looked her up & watching all her AGT
performances; I laughed when the bunny hid Darci's mouth with one paw!

> I understand that after Darci won America's Got Talent, she invited
> runner-up Angelica Hale (2 1/2 years younger than Darci) and her family
> to join them in Las Vegas for the shows. To me, that spoke volumes, and
> was very noble of her...and I understand that the girls, and their
parents,
> are all great friends. Both Darci and Angelica can sing...wow!! No wonder
> they both got "the golden buzzer" on America's Got Talent".

Hard to claim absolute first place when both got top honours (golden buzzer)

> There was one of those on a sign for an area McDonald's:

> "Now Hiring Smiling Faces For Afternoon Shifts"

I've seen it on a Burger King sign: "Now hiring for all shifts" (but the 'f'
was missing)


> ... H.A.M. Radio Operator: H)ave A)nother M)eal.




Doc told me he has good news and bad news for me. Bad news is my organs are
shutting down from my eating only pepperoni, ham & salami.


Q: What should we be eating on Easter instead of Ham?
A: IHOP




Q: What do you call a radio after it blows up
A: A boom box

I'd tell you a Ham radio pun, but it's not always well received.

Car sticker - "Radio amateurs do it with frequency."

PH1SIX [F]
At my local club there is a sign that says "If your mast is still standing
after a storm, it probably didn't have enough antennas in it"

On our club's Monday Night Net, one gentleman, Gwynn, W8BY, now sadly SK,
used to tell jokes. They were mostly not ham radio related, but here's one in
which amateur radio plays a part:

One Saturday morning, Sam held an antenna party at his house. About a half
dozen hams showed up, and the antenna went up pretty quick. At this point,
they all headed inside for lunch...except for Joe. Sam asked the other guys,
"Hey, where's Joe?" After getting a bunch of blank stares, Sam headed outside
to find Joe.

As it turned out, Joe was still up on the roof. Sam yelled up, "Hey, Joe.
What are you still doing up there?" To which Joe replied, "Well, didn't you
say that the drinks were on the house?"

At this point, Gwynn would let out a low groan, and you could almost hear all
of the other hams who'd checked into the net let out a low groan, too.

George Washington and his father used Morse code! When young George chopped
down the cherry tree his father asked "Who di-dit?" and George replied "I di-
dit, da-dah"

HEARD ON 2O METERS
"Yesterday, my XYL said she'd leave me if I didn't give up ham radio. Over."

An elderly ham driver was going down the interstate when suddenly his 2 meter
rig crackled his call...Answering...he heard a fellow ham's urgent
warning....."Hey Elmer, just heard on the news that there's a car going down
I-40 the wrong way, please be careful"!!
Elmer replied,"Well I'll declare, it's not just one.......
there's hundreds of them'!!!!!!!!!

Is it true that "bandwidth" refers to a Ham's waist size?

Your friend,

<+]:{)}
Cyberpope, Bishop of ROM
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* Origin: The Rusty MailBox - Penticton, BC Canada (1:153/757.2)

From: Daryl Stout (1:19/33)
To: All
Date: Wed, 07.07.21 23:25
Re: Think You're Stupid??
George,

GP> Always good to know who you hang out with who get uptight over such
GP> innocence. . .

Those who have a fit need to get a life. Most of the young children don't
know any better.

GP> & why not? I'm okay with any words in the dictionary if used
GP> grammatically correctly & not being used to hurt others.

Exactly. I think of the language of William Shakespeare (in how the 1611
King James Bible was done), in one of his many plays, Romeo And Juliet. The
first time he saw her, he said "I was filled with compassion, and my bowels
were moved". It sounds like he was so love struck, that it scared the crap
out of him...just like what marriage should do to a guy who has never been
married. This is TMI...but it did me...I was up all night with IBS. Razz

GP> They had no business condemning & censoring anyway!

The culture is so much to that nowadays...if it offends them, it should
not be around. For that matter, that's what the scales in the doctor's
offices are...offensive. <G>

GP> I've seen Darci before, but now looked her up & watching all her AGT
GP> performances; I laughed when the bunny hid Darci's mouth with one paw!

That WAS funny. I liked when she was doing a performance (it was before
AGT) at a theatre in Oklahoma City (her hometown), with Edna Doorknocker
(what a name!! <G>). Now, the ventriloquist is doing ALL the conversation
(them and the "dummy"), but they make you believe the "dummy" is alive!!

Well, in this one skit, Edna is flirting with a guy in the audience.
The conversation goes like this:

Darci: Edna!! Don't you know that kissing a man that young could be fatal??
Edna: Well, if he dies, he dies!!

<raucous laughter>

Darci: Edna Doorknocker!!
Edna: Darci, don't you know when it comes to love, it's mind over matter.
Darci: What does that mean??
Edna: If they don't mind, it don't matter.

Then later, Edna wanted to "sing". Darci made it like she didn't want
to do a song, and told Edna "Without me, you can't sing!!", and Edna
retorts "Without me, you don't have a college fund!!".

It brought the house down in laughter!! <BG>

GP> Hard to claim absolute first place when both got top honours (golden
GP> buzzer)

True...and both were in tears.

GP> I've seen it on a Burger King sign: "Now hiring for all shifts" (but
GP> the 'f' was missing)

I saw a similar deal at a Wendy's today, and thought the same thing. Razz




At least you're not using a tenderizer to beat the meat with. <EG>

GP> Doc told me he has good news and bad news for me. Bad news is my organs
GP> are shutting down from my eating only pepperoni, ham & salami.


I bought a cured ham...I wonder what it had. And, as a T-shirt I bought
years ago noted, "Do Not Try To Cure This Ham". <G>

GP> Q: What should we be eating on Easter instead of Ham?
GP> A: IHOP

I was never one for pancakes...except for the thin ones that my late
grandmother made. I wouldn't use much syrup on them, though.




Nothing like spelling it out.

GP> Q: What do you call a radio after it blows up
GP> A: A boom box

Or it turns your vehicle into an earthquake zone.

GP> I'd tell you a Ham radio pun, but it's not always well received.

If you go to www.qrz.com, look for WX4QZ -- click on the hyperlink there,
and download the PDF file on ham radio humor. I did a 3 part skit, called
"The Triple Play"...

1) The Ham Radio Wedding -- uniting ham and radio in holy telephony
2) The Honeymoon And More -- the first night together, and more
3) The 12 Days Of Hamming -- 12 things about the hobby

The first two are loaded with pun humor...non-hams wouldn't be able to
understand much of it.

GP> Car sticker - "Radio amateurs do it with frequency."

Or on the vehicle that had a bumper sticker that noted "As a matter of
fact, I don't have enough antennas on my car"...and he has at least a
dozen antennas on the roof...and you can imagine the amount of rigs in
the vehicle. He must have a heck of a battery or power supply to power
all those radios!!

GP> At my local club there is a sign that says "If your mast is still
GP> standing after a storm, it probably didn't have enough antennas in it"

That's true.

GP> On our club's Monday Night Net, one gentleman, Gwynn, W8BY, now sadly
GP> SK, used to tell jokes. They were mostly not ham radio related, but
GP> here's one in which amateur radio plays a part:

GP> One Saturday morning, Sam held an antenna party at his house. About a
GP> half dozen hams showed up, and the antenna went up pretty quick. At
GP> this point, they all headed inside for lunch...except for Joe. Sam
GP> asked the other guys, "Hey, where's Joe?" After getting a bunch of
GP> blank stares, Sam headed outside to find Joe.

GP> As it turned out, Joe was still up on the roof. Sam yelled up, "Hey,
GP> Joe. What are you still doing up there?" To which Joe replied, "Well,
GP> didn't you say that the drinks were on the house?"

Ah, yes!! The adult beverages (we call them the 807's). I'll have to add
that to my file.

GP> At this point, Gwynn would let out a low groan, and you could almost
GP> hear all of the other hams who'd checked into the net let out a low
GP> groan, too.

One blind ham years ago, did a "blind joke net". He was serious as can
be...but all of us listening were laughing our butts off!!

GP> George Washington and his father used Morse code! When young George
GP> chopped down the cherry tree his father asked "Who di-dit?" and George
GP> replied "I di- dit, da-dah"

Good one!! I'll have to add that to the file as well.

GP> HEARD ON 2O METERS
GP> "Yesterday, my XYL said she'd leave me if I didn't give up ham radio.
GP> Over."

Or the woman sobbing "When I said 'It's Me Or The Radios!!', he said
'Seven Three'". <G>

GP> An elderly ham driver was going down the interstate when suddenly his 2
GP> meter rig crackled his call...Answering...he heard a fellow ham's
GP> urgent warning....."Hey Elmer, just heard on the news that there's a
GP> car going down I-40 the wrong way, please be careful"!!
GP> Elmer replied,"Well I'll declare, it's not just one.......
GP> there's hundreds of them'!!!!!!!!!

Exactly.

GP> Is it true that "bandwidth" refers to a Ham's waist size?

That's another good one.

Daryl, WX4QZ

... Ham Radio QRP: When you care the most to send the very least.
=== MultiMail/Win v0.52
--- SBBSecho 3.14-Win32
* Origin: The Thunderbolt BBS - Little Rock, Arkansas (1:19/33)

From: George Pope (1:153/757.2)
To: All
Date: Fri, 16.07.21 11:00
Re: Think You're Stupid??
> GP> & why not? I'm okay with any words in the dictionary if used
> GP> grammatically correctly & not being used to hurt others.

> Exactly. I think of the language of William Shakespeare (in how the 1611
> King James Bible was done), in one of his many plays, Romeo And Juliet.
The
> first time he saw her, he said "I was filled with compassion, and my
bowels
> were moved". It sounds like he was so love struck, that it scared the crap
> out of him...just like what marriage should do to a guy who has never been
> married. This is TMI...but it did me...I was up all night with IBS. Razz

Yup, & I recall resaing Chaucer the fist time & laughing as I'd parsed, out
of Middle English, that she sent him off with a "kiss my arse" whebn he
exclaimed, "I didst not note she had ever before had a beard!" (after she
hanged her arse out the window in respionse to his request for a good-bye
kiss!

> The culture is so much to that nowadays...if it offends them, it should
> not be around. For that matter, that's what the scales in the doctor's
> offices are...offensive. <G>

Nah, if I don't like the truth it says, I can only get upset at myself, & I
can't be botheredto do so. . .

> Then later, Edna wanted to "sing". Darci made it like she didn't want
> to do a song, and told Edna "Without me, you can't sing!!", and Edna
> retorts "Without me, you don't have a college fund!!".

> It brought the house down in laughter!! <BG>

I agree; that was a funny line, indeed!




> At least you're not using a tenderizer to beat the meat with. <EG>

I did not ask about your teenage years! TMI. . .


> I was never one for pancakes...except for the thin ones that my late
> grandmother made. I wouldn't use much syrup on them, though.

crepes? I make pancakes from scratch (been doing so since ahe 14) & I
separate the eggs & beat the whotes separately, then fold them int to the
rest of the better -- makes 1" thick fluffy pancakes to die for! I slap on a
coat of butter the second they come off the griddle, then douse in real maple
syrup(when I have some) just before eating. . . yum!

Best I had was at a friend's German family reunion at a north prairie farm --
real German potato pancakes, & you put your choice(s) of peanut butter,
cheddar cheese slices, or applesauce(lumpy home-made) on top -- ooo, baby!
Carved up with 4 truly organic free-range eggs & the thickest bacon you ever
had, all cooked to perfection!

Seconds, & thirds(hey, I was 16 & had the metabolism of a 300lb tiger) of
all.

> and download the PDF file on ham radio humor. I did a 3 part skit, called
> "The Triple Play"...

> 1) The Ham Radio Wedding -- uniting ham and radio in holy telephony
> 2) The Honeymoon And More -- the first night together, and more
> 3) The 12 Days Of Hamming -- 12 things about the hobby

> The first two are loaded with pun humor...non-hams wouldn't be able to
> understand much of it.

There yo go; I'm a non-ham. . .

> Ah, yes!! The adult beverages (we call them the 807's). I'll have to add
> that to my file.

Why "807s"?

> GP> George Washington and his father used Morse code! When young George
> GP> chopped down the cherry tree his father asked "Who di-dit?" and
George
> GP> replied "I di- dit, da-dah"

> Good one!! I'll have to add that to the file as well.

That was one I really liked, too, as I got it without knowing about ham
insider stuff. . . (I know the old telegraph hams were all about the dit-dit-
dah-dah all the livelong day. . .Wink

> Or the woman sobbing "When I said 'It's Me Or The Radios!!', he said
> 'Seven Three'". <G>

What's "7-3"?


So I bought a telegraph machine. And then I bought a second telegraph
machine.
Now I'm feeling some reMorse.

While feeding some ducks with kids, more ducks turn up.
Me "there's loads coming, they must have sent a telegraph"

Dad friend "they're birds, they tweeted it"

Your friend,

<+]:{)}
Cyberpope, Bishop of ROM
--- SBBSecho 3.14-Linux
* Origin: The Rusty MailBox - Penticton, BC Canada (1:153/757.2)

From: Daryl Stout (1:19/33)
To: All
Date: Fri, 16.07.21 18:54
Re: Think You're Stupid??
George,

GP> (after she hanged her arse out the window in respionse to his request
GP> for a good-bye kiss!

I guess the relationbship was over...or each felt the other was too much of
a butthole. Razz

GP> Nah, if I don't like the truth it says, I can only get upset at myself,
GP> & I can't be botheredto do so. . .

It's like when the doctor tells you something you're already aware of
(overweight), and you say "tell me something I don't know"...then he says
"your co-pay is $250".

GP> I agree; that was a funny line, indeed!

I saw one on YouTube where a female ventriloquist from the UK (with a
heavy English accent), incorporated hypnotism into the sequence with her
dummy...a small monkey.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vbd0FcnFfO0

> At least you're not using a tenderizer to beat the meat with. <EG>

GP> I did not ask about your teenage years! TMI. . .

I'm an amateur baiter. One day, I'll become a master at it. <G>

GP> douse in real maple syrup(when I have some) just before eating. . .
GP> yum!

I still am not a big fan of pancakes...IHOP not withstanding.

GP> Seconds, & thirds(hey, I was 16 & had the metabolism of a 300lb tiger)
GP> of all.

That's the thing...everyone's metabolism is different.

> The first two are loaded with pun humor...non-hams wouldn't be able to
> understand much of it.

GP> There yo go; I'm a non-ham. . .

I tried to tell the puns to this young girl, and my brother (who isn't a
ham radio operator, either (he has no interest in my hobbies)Wink, said I was
being vulgar. I replied "If this WAS vulgar, the FCC would've been all over
me!!".

> Ah, yes!! The adult beverages (we call them the 807's). I'll have to add
> that to my file.

GP> Why "807s"?

The 807 was originally a beam tetrode vacuum tube, or an amplifier tube.
Nowadays, it basically is ham radio slang for "a beer", or otherwise "an
adult beverage".

> Or the woman sobbing "When I said 'It's Me Or The Radios!!', he said
> 'Seven Three'". <G>

GP> What's "7-3"?

Seven Three is a sign off for "best wishes". Seven Five is for "May God
bless you and yours". Eighty Eight is "Love And Kisses"...usually between
spouses, engaged hams, or boyfriend/girlfriend. Members of the Quarter
Century Wireless Association (QCWA) sign off with "Forty Seven", because
the QCWA was incorporated in 1947. It's for ham radio operators who have
been licensed at least 25 years, and are currently licensed. I'm a Life
Member of it, and a member of the Arklatex Chapter of it...and do two of
their weekly traffic nets.

GP> So I bought a telegraph machine. And then I bought a second telegraph
GP> machine.
GP> Now I'm feeling some reMorse.

That's like the guy who had a one night stand. He felt sorry for it, so
he bought a second companion one to go with it.

GP> While feeding some ducks with kids, more ducks turn up.
GP> Me "there's loads coming, they must have sent a telegraph"

GP> Dad friend "they're birds, they tweeted it"

Singing Ventriloquist Darci Lynn Farmer (who won America's Got Talent
back in 2017), mentioned to her bunny rabbit, Petunia (who, according to
Darci, thinks she's a diva <G>), about what she did on Twitter..."I tweet".
Petunia was horrified, saying "I beg your pardon!!". <G>

Daryl

... Ham Radio Messages And Replies Will Be Sent In Morse Code.
=== MultiMail/Win v0.52
--- SBBSecho 3.14-Win32
* Origin: The Thunderbolt BBS - Little Rock, Arkansas (1:19/33)

From: George Pope (1:153/757.2)
To: All
Date: Sun, 18.07.21 14:00
Re: Think You're Stupid??
> It's like when the doctor tells you something you're already aware of
> (overweight), and you say "tell me something I don't know"...then he says
> "your co-pay is $250".

You're paying wayyy too much! I have made deals with docs in every city in
Florida to do housecalls(! Yes, to your home!Wink for under $150, so we can
charge $250 all told & still make emnough to stay in business)

$250 is the max you should charge for a housecall in the USA, or max $100 for
an office visit. Google "Mega Assistance housecalls" to get better treatment
(all our doctors give VIP quality service to our clients.Wink

> GP> I agree; that was a funny line, indeed!

> I saw one on YouTube where a female ventriloquist from the UK (with a
> heavy English accent), incorporated hypnotism into the sequence with her
> dummy...a small monkey.

> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vbd0FcnFfO0

I love Nina Conti & Monk!

> I still am not a big fan of pancakes...IHOP not withstanding.

Don't need to be. Order what you like & enjoy!

I used to, 7 days a week, have 2 eggs(popached), 2 toast(uncut), 2
bacon(soft) or 2 sausages, & unlimited coffee (I'd spend amn hour there
eating, drinking, & reading the paper)

I came in the door & befoere I got 6 feet into te diner, they had my spot at
Table 7 set up with newspaper & freshly-poured coffee, then they left me a
lone until I'd finished the coffee(every drop) then refilled it & asked if I
referred sausage or soft bacon today(I randonly varied between the two)

Then they were quick to refill my mug, but only when drained completely.
While I ate drank, read, & did the crossword, as often as needed until I
requested the check, which I paid with $3 ($2.50+ 50c(25%) tip)

Then off to work on 6/7 days & back home to do weekly chores(shopping,
laundry,. bill paying) the 7/7 day. . .

Good times. . . Making the most of my $5/hour wages!

> GP> Seconds, & thirds(hey, I was 16 & had the metabolism of a 300lb
tiger)
> GP> of all.

> That's the thing...everyone's metabolism is different.

Yup, I had to eat 5,000 calories/dy jusdt to not lose weight, & go below 95#!

Now I only eat under 2,000 & I can't lose an ounce!


> ... Ham Radio Messages And Replies Will Be Sent In Morse Code.

I could break 'most any coded missive, but never did learn Morse; I know
emergency is best conveyed with alternating 3s (short-short-short, long-long-
long, or vice versa -- the pattern indicates it's not a natural sound)

I know it's based originally on Morse SOS.

For semaphor, I only know ND makes that "crow's foot" peace symbol ("Nuclear
Disarmament")

In a new movie 007 must save us from a mad man intent on setting off an
atomic bomb on the bottom of the Ocean
Nucleotide Bond


the German army of the atomic bomb.
They did Nazi it coming.

15 sodium atoms walk into a bar.
They are followed by Batman. (subtle(subtle as the 'b' in 'subtle'Wink, but I
love it!Wink

Q: Why can't you trust atoms?
A: Because they make up everything

Your friend,

<+]:{)}
Cyberpope, Bishop of ROM
--- SBBSecho 3.14-Linux
* Origin: The Rusty MailBox - Penticton, BC Canada (1:153/757.2)

From: Daryl Stout (1:19/33)
To: All
Date: Sun, 18.07.21 19:59
Re: Think You're Stupid??
George,

GP> You're paying wayyy too much! I have made deals with docs in every city
GP> in Florida to do housecalls(! Yes, to your home!Wink for under $150, so we
GP> can charge $250 all told & still make emnough to stay in business)

Actually, it's smaller than that, but the co-pay for my colonoscopy will
be nearly $300.

GP> I love Nina Conti & Monk!

I saw her for the first time the other day. I loved the part when the
monkey told her to raise the finger (after she was "hypnotized"), and
the monkey said "Not on that hand, you idiot!!" <G> The other part was
when the monkey took over her face. <BG> She has a strong English
accent...is she from the UK, Austrailia, or somewhere else?? And,
apparently, she has been doing this for a long time. The monkey thinks
he sounds like Sean Connery. <G>

GP> Don't need to be. Order what you like & enjoy!

I saw today where the cost of eating out has increased in the month of
June more than any other month since 1981.

GP> I used to, 7 days a week, have 2 eggs(popached), 2 toast(uncut), 2
GP> bacon(soft) or 2 sausages, & unlimited coffee (I'd spend amn hour there
GP> eating, drinking, & reading the paper)

I normally am not a breakfast person, unless I have to go out, and do
a morning ham radio license exam session.

GP> Good times. . . Making the most of my $5/hour wages!

If they give real good service, I'm happy to give a real good tip.
But, I've been eating at home, as I can't afford to eat out (see note
above).

GP> Now I only eat under 2,000 & I can't lose an ounce!

Don't you just hate folks who can eat all they want, and never gain
an ounce??

Daryl

... Goverment Version: Pentago, Pentagoing, Pentagon.
=== MultiMail/Win v0.52
--- SBBSecho 3.14-Win32
* Origin: The Thunderbolt BBS - Little Rock, Arkansas (1:19/33)

From: George Pope (1:153/757.2)
To: All
Date: Fri, 23.07.21 03:19
Re: Think You're Stupid??
> Actually, it's smaller than that, but the co-pay for my colonoscopy will
> be nearly $300.

Ouch. Is it not fully covered by your insurance? It should be deemed a
necessary procedure. Maybe if your dov writes the order "r/o x" (r/o = "to
rule out" & X = wehsatever he feels right in putting fr a dsease or
condition.Wink

No harm in asking your GP if the referral can be written in a way more
conducive to your good health (mental health is a big part of it & stress is
a killer)

As I had it explained, Depression is a continuum, with the beginning being
change (change = stress in biology) & the other end going off a roof (it's an
extreme end);

This doc explained that if I just mey the woman of my dreams, got married,
then won $20M in a lotrterey, & we bought a gorgeous perfect house on the
beach, & moved in, I'd be depressed!

Sounded opposite to depressed to me, but he said in biological terms, each
change moves me up the continuum.

Apparently happiness & depression can co-exist in the same person at the same
time!

> GP> I love Nina Conti & Monk!

> I saw her for the first time the other day. I loved the part when the
> monkey told her to raise the finger (after she was "hypnotized"), and
> the monkey said "Not on that hand, you idiot!!" <G> The other part was
> when the monkey took over her face. <BG> She has a strong English
> accent...is she from the UK, Austrailia, or somewhere else?? And,
> apparently, she has been doing this for a long time. The monkey thinks
> he sounds like Sean Connery. <G>

She's an actress(etc.Wink from London, born to actor parents. She's currently
age 47.

Reminds mwe of one of my favorite exchanges on the show Married With
Children.

Bud (dweeb-y teen son) is trying to talk Al (loser patriarch/star of the
show) into dating (it's an alternate future peek):

B: "Dad I happen to know my teaher is single & I've seen the way she looks at
you!"
A: "How old is she, son?"
B: "Forty."
A: "That's oooold!"
B: "But you're 40, dad!"
A: "I know son, & there'll be plenty of time for 40 year olds when I'm 60!"

> GP> Don't need to be. Order what you like & enjoy!

> I saw today where the cost of eating out has increased in the month of
> June more than any other month since 1981.

Makes sense, now that peoiple are comoing back, they are thinkiung in terms
of recouping the money lost over the past year. (they wouldn't try raising
during covid, as that'd chase away the rare few customers they might get)


> I normally am not a breakfast person, unless I have to go out, and do
> a morning ham radio license exam session.

Breakfast is the most important meal of the day, & sets your day up for you.

I don't do ewlaborate; I generally am upstairs on my computer, nt ready to
atytempt the stars right away, especially if I'm working later, so I have
some granola bars I like handy & have 3 of those & a very very VERY strong
coffee(or two) to wash them down!

If we foud good bananas tghe day before, I usually have one up with me for
the first bite of the day. . .

> If they give real good service, I'm happy to give a real good tip.
> But, I've been eating at home, as I can't afford to eat out (see note
> above).

I'vwe been broke a lot of years, but I always try to budget a tip in if I'm
eating out, so didbn't eat out hardly ever.

FoxTV (not the FauxNews) aired a hidden cameras documentary showing the
number of staff who spit(& worse!Wink in customer's food throughout America.

One diner waitress, on ca,mera, directly interviewed said, "If you don't tip
& you come back, there WILL be spit in your food!"

I find I get nice perks by tipping, especially in a low tip area/restaurant.

One little cutie bvrought my friends(3) & I a bowl of gelato each, with fresh
fruit cut up onto it! Over $30 in a freebie & I spent only about half of
that on that visit.

It's a self carry to your table kid of coffee shop, but they always deliver
for us (I am host of a group of those with mobility disabilities-- the drinks
& snacks are paid for by our parent organisation, to give us an opportunity
to get out & socialize/share info)

> GP> Now I only eat under 2,000 & I can't lose an ounce!

> Don't you just hate folks who can eat all they want, and never gain
> an ounce??

Nah, as I used to be one of them for a long time; It's just Nature--i.e.
God's way of introducing variety into His Creation.

I'm teaching myself, on a long arduyous journey, to practice the moderation I
preach.

Why eat a whole Mississipi Mud Pie (ice cream & cake, both chocolate), whewn
I can enjoy the tastets by having a small amount & bringing the rest hmoe f
or my family to likewise enjoy, or if I'm not dining solo, I split it with
someone, save half the money & still get to enjoy the taste pleasures.

Don't you love pie?

...

My wife gave me an ultimatum. It was either her or my addiction to sweets.
The decision was a piece of cake.

Q: What do you call a snake that's 3.14 feet long?
A: A "&#960;"thon

Q: What do you get when you eat 3.14 cakes?
A: You get fat. What, were you expecting a pi joke?

If you have a pizza with radius 'z' & height 'a', its volume is pi*z*z*a.

Q: What do you get when you cross a moccasin & a sweet potato pie?
A: A pie-thon







Those are the Pie Rates of the Caribbean

Your friend,

<+]:{)}
Cyberpope, Bishop of ROM
--- SBBSecho 3.14-Linux
* Origin: The Rusty MailBox - Penticton, BC Canada (1:153/757.2)

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